A Friday morning in July 2017, the sun is shining, my spirit is dancing, it is the last day of school holidays and I am preparing my breakfast.
No blood, just an unusual click of bone and what feels like a gaping hole in the front of my mouth. What have I done? Running to my bedroom mirror with my mouth firmly closed, pressing down on my lips, I could just stare at myself….is this really what I think, that could have happened. But how is this possible, why did I do what I just did. What will it look like when I open my mouth why did I do it!!!
Slowly opening my mouth I first remove what I feel laying in front of my tongue and my bottom teeth. Luckily all my bottom teeth are still there and feeling whole. How? Why? Help!!! My heart drops to my feet but at the same time it is pounding in my head….what now? How will I fix this? Can it be fixed? I want to run away or no…just faint, I have no strength in my body or the ability to think straight. I can’t stay like this. How will I eat? How will I face people? How will I stop myself from talking or even smiling? Do I laugh with hysteria or do I just cry my heart out? O my goodness I need some help and I need it right now.
I grabbed my bag and rushed myself for some emergency assistance. Thank goodness my foolishness happened during business hours and I could receive the assistance required to relieve me from my self inflicted misery. What will I request assistance for because at this stage I think my ego suffered the worst blow?
After explaining myself to the receptionist I felt my heart returning to its cavity space and I then wanted to cry as relieve of still being able to talk overtook my emotions.
After what felt like forever I am called me to the big chair….With all the patience in the world, no questions asked, my mouth is assessed. The necessary x-rays are taken and the procedure, of what will happen next is explained to me. The thumping of my heart becomes a bit controlled as the Novocain starts expanding my nose and my left eye; I feel a sense of gratitude and a huge urge to just hug the dentist for not judging me.
I am now relaxed and have the courage to open my mouth and inspect what has just happened to me. Then I see this huge gap between my top front teeth. My one big tooth is gone, like no more, there is only a huge gap staring back at me. A gap so big, that it touches my soul.
Prior to the adrenalin rush I engaged in an action that is not normally what I would do. I used my mouth to open a juice box lid, which would not budge with normal opening. The result left me shocked to my core. Clearly with a promise to myself, that I will never ever be this stupid ever again.
My realization with this experience has been that I am a vain person. As much as this notion rips at my core and brings about a feeling of disgust I surrender to my moment of vanity.
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